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Shart Courtidea2026-05-17
The Chili Cookoff Deposition
A chili champion is questioned under oath about bean density.
An office potluck becomes a legal inquiry into spice, timing, and poor calendar management.
Script
- Attorney: Please state your relationship to the chili.
- Defendant: Proud creator. Regretful participant.
- Attorney: Did you schedule this before a staff meeting?
- Defendant: I believed in my team.
- Attorney: Your team believed in remote work.
- Judge: The court reminds everyone that bean density is not a personality.
- Defendant: I withdraw my LinkedIn post.
- Judge: Too late. The algorithm has entered it into evidence.
Shot list
- Fake deposition table with legal pad and spoon.
- Zoom-style office grid reacting silently.
- Close-up of chili pot with warning tape.
- Judge stamping 'vibes are not evidence.'